We Need To Talk About the 'P' Spot

It’s the taboo of sexual taboos. It's also the single, most intense pleasure a man can experience. Who wouldn't want deeper, more intense, longer lasting orgasms which can happen multiple times? If that wasn't beneficial enough, it even prevents cancer. Yet, there still appears to be a huge stigma around prostate play. 

As intimidating as it sounds guys, you're missing out on the holy grail of orgasms here. I haven’t experienced one myself, as sadly I don’t have a prostate. But heck, sometimes I wish I was a man so that I could. If anyone has watched a man’s whole body convulsing in pleasure as he orgasms multiple times, you'll understand what I mean. It's time straight men got in on the action. There’s a whole hidden pleasure chest back there that’s going undiscovered. It's time to open it up and give it some love. 

Guys, it doesn't make you gay!

I asked some male friends why they freak out so much at the mere mention of a prostate massage. Their opposition was unanimous. They fear it'll somehow emasculate them and affect their heterosexuality. There's a belief that heterosexual men shouldn’t be penetrated, and if they were to be, this would make them gay, or bisexual. It seems some men have a hard time giving up their role as the penetrator and stepping into that of the receiver. This homophobic stigma is preventing men from experiencing their full sexual potential.

So what's the deal with the prostate?

The prostate (also known as the 'P' spot) is a walnut-sized gland located at the root of the penis, just below the bladder. Its purpose is to secrete fluid that nourishes and protects sperm. During ejaculation, the prostate squeezes this fluid into the urethra, and it’s expelled with sperm as semen. 

While it's possible to stimulate this area externally, via the perineum, it's much more intense via penetration, as the anus and its surrounding area is jam-packed full of nerve endings. It's conveniently placed about a finger’s length from the anal opening and when stimulated, can make a man ejaculate without his penis even being touched. Still not convinced? Hear me out.

It will give you the best orgasms…and prevent cancer

Regular prostate massage has many health benefits, both sexual and medical. For starters, it gives men earth-shattering orgasms which are reportedly 33 percent stronger than your average climax. It's also been discovered that men who stimulate their prostates report thicker, stronger erections thus making prostate orgasms beneficial to men with erectile dysfunction. 

My pro-prostate friend (should we get t'shirts made?) also talked about the benefits for their partner. "Exploring anal play has brought a whole new dimension to our sex life. Nothing is more of a turn on for my girlfriend than being able to give me so much pleasure. I'm completely at her mercy, which was strange at first, but now I love it. I can experience pleasure like no other, as the receiver, and she can too, as the giver. Win Win!" 

The benefits don’t stop at sex. Regular prostate massages support healthy prostate and fertility function. They help rid the body of prostatic fluid, which can build up in the glands and result in many health issues including prostate cancer. Prostate cancer is the most common cancer among males, and is now a bigger killer than breast cancer in women, so this is no mean feat.

Ease into it - start with a finger

I’m not suggesting you get excited and shove an 8” dildo up your ass. This is definitely not a dive in at the deep end situation (sorry, couldn’t help it). You have to build up to it. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable. The more relaxed and aroused you are, the better it will feel.

Most guys start with a finger (their own or someone else's) to get accustomed to the feeling of something inside of them. With clean hands (and a lot of lube), start by externally massaging the perineum. If that feels good, and you feel comfortable, try inserting your finger into your rectum, curving it in the direction of your belly-button. You should be able to feel your prostate about two inches in. And then just rub. It will take a bit of experimenting to find out what feels good.  Some prefer a gentle stroking, others might like a little more pressure and tension. It's perfectly normal to feel like you need to urinate (don't worry, you won't). This is a sign you've hit the jackpot.

A toy is best for the super 'O'

It’s actually easier to stimulate the prostate with a toy, as it will hit the right spot without you poking around aimlessly in the dark. The Aneros Helix Sync is the go-to prostate massager for beginners. It’s slim and non-vibrating, so it’s not as intimidating as other toys. It’s also completely hands-free. You just insert it, lie back and enjoy the ride. All you have to do is relax. Be patient though, as this is easier said than done. It can take a long time, especially if you are new to this. 

Once the toy is inserted and you are relaxed, the anal muscles will naturally start to contract around it. Once the contractions begin, it will start to nudge against the prostate and massage the anal canal. Don't worry if this feels weird the first few times. And remember, lube is your friend here. You can't use too much of it. Make sure to use a water based one (silicone or oil will damage your toy).

For more detailed instructions on prostate play, hop over to MrRacy. He's the man for the job. He too was opposed to prostate play and now he dedicates much of his site to it. He's also straight so he understands your hangups.

Slightly curious? You're not alone!

Although the stigma around prostate play isn't going away anytime soon, it seems like some of you are coming around to the idea. Sex toy manufacturer LELO reported a 56% increase in sales of prostate massagers over the past five years. This can mean only one thing. Straight men are getting in on the action. They’re just not willing to admit it.

I know it will take a lot more than my words to convince you, but I hope I've opened your mind a little. It's a shame to miss out on this whole avenue of pleasure because of social taboos. Don't worry, you don't have to tell anyone. Although the more honest we are about sex the more we can let go of the stigmas. 

So what are you waiting for? It's 2019, the year of the prostate. I'll leave you to ponder this thought: if nature hadn't intended anal play, why is the prostate up the ass?

Let's finish on a high

And if you're still not convinced (tough crowd), here's a reddit user describing what a prostate orgasm (using an Aneros) feels like:

"A radiating warmth coupled with a pressurized pleasure. I was rock hard but I kept true to the instructions and didn't touch myself. After a while felt it building. I knew I was going to climax but it wasn't a typical feeling.

When it hit, it fucking hit.

A wave smashing into my groin, wave after wave smashing over the rest of my body. My skin felt super receptive. I felt every hair follicle on my scalp, and I felt a pressure building again.

I had ended up groaning again, quite loudly, and shot across the room. Multiple volleys of semen flew across the room, managing to hit the opposite wall.

When it was over I was still quivering. Gasping for air and trying to not to touch my body. I grazed my nipples and nearly had a seizure."

If that doesn't convince you, I don't know what will.

Happy orgasms!